If this were a film (in which case I would be played by someone like Christopher Eccleston-Northern, rugged, somewhat rebellious), right now we would be having a flashback, and things would get all wobbly and blurred, perhaps with the musical accompaniment of harp strings or violins.
We are back in a small kitchen of a small house in Salford, back in the 70's. In one small room, are a middle aged man, wearing his work clothes, a middle aged woman, usually cooking and a small rotund boy with very bad hair. All three are in front of an aging black and white TV and they are all watching BBC2 on a Saturday night. Can you guess, dear reader, which one is me? Course you can. Stupid question. But what's wrong with a bit of rhetoric between friends?
On the TV is a classic black and white horror film, which for the purposes of this self-indulgent flashback, we will identify as House of Frankenstein, made in 1944 and starring two veteran horror film actors, Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney Jr. When it finishes, it will be followed by a 60's Hammer horror called "The Reptile". Whilst Mum is not that interested in what's showing, the two males are absolutely rapt. The fat one with bad hair is also a bit scared as he's only about 14 years old and gets frightened by Frankenstein's monster and snake-women. (Although in years to come, in his life as a DJ, he will see far worse). But, and here's the point of all this, he loves watching these films, back to back. Better still, these horror double bills are on every week for about two months and enable him to see lots of films that he has only read about in the large number of books and magazines about horror films that already overflow from the small bookshelves in his bedroom upstairs.
Time to stop this flashback nonsense as I'm finding it hard to maintain the right tense. Back in the 70's BBC 2 ran these double bills fairly regularly over a number of years and for spods like me, who loved horror films, they were a godsend. You just didn't see that many scary films on TV back then. After all, we only had three TV channels, which usually closed down round about 1am on most nights. And horror films were usually seen as a bit rubbish by a lot of people. At the cinema, they tended to turn up infrequently (again partially due to the fact that not many cinemas had more than one screen) and lots of them were very low budget and could be fairly shonky.
I was obsessed with horror films from round about the age of 7 when my dad let me stay up to watch Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, a 1940's comedy horror film which took two vaudeville comedians and bumped them up against a bunch of classic monsters.To be fair, it's hardly Shakespeare or Bergman. It's not even really half as well written as an average episode of Hollyoaks (which shows you just how bad the writing actually was).
But.... in all honesty, that one single viewing shaped my film tastes for the rest of my life and I've always loved the horrible, macabre and fantastic side of movies. I bought as many magazines and books about them as I could afford, and still do (much to the bemusement of my family, especially Mrs D who often goes to the bathroom and finds a magazine with a cover picture of a decapitated Zombie next to the throne).My shelves are full of every kind of weird and wonderful film you can imagine. (But nothing featuring Paul Walker or Vin Diesel as I DO have some standards).
The BBC double bills usually showed an older classic horror film followed by something a little more recent. Hammer horrors and Roger Corman adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe novels got a fair old bit of exposure after the Universal horror classics. It's surprising how many creative types operating today, often refer back to these screenings as a bit of a formative influence on their artistic endeavours. Whoever put them together at the Beeb clearly knew their stuff and found a link between the films and they were treated seriously by the announcer too - no jokey introductions, or mocking sketches about the sometimes daft content. For a whole load of us over forty years of age, they were really important.
Obviously, these days, there are a multitude of ways to watch films at home; On satellite TV, there are two dedicated channels showing horror, sci-fi and fantasy films, plus so many of the obscure and weird films I only ever read about back in that small 70's house, have emerged in all their glory on DVD. But it would be good to have the Beeb put some of that nice licence money they take from us, into doing these double bills again. It would make a welcome change from more repeats of Dickinson's Real Deal, which I find very frightening, for different reasons.
The series they made the other year with Mark Gatiss on Horror films, reminded me how well the BBC can treat that genre when they take the time to do it properly. And since the late 70's, horror films came out of the B movie shadows and started to make lots of money, get some occasional critical acclaim and even pick up an Oscar or two. It's still one of the most popular genres of film, not just for moviegoers, but also for film-makers, and it's a global genre, too. In recent years, some of the best and most imaginative horror films have come from Asia, France and Spain. There's even been a resurgence in UK horror films. The horror genre also enables film-makers to put across some very subversive and thought-provoking ideas and issues, even if they are somewhat disguised under rivers of Kensington Gore or sheets of latex. I'd rather watch an obscure Korean monster movie than another screening of Knocked Up, or How To Lose A Man In 40 Days. Although, that last film does make me very scared whenever it comes on.
If you would like to show some support for this, go and have a look at www.classichorrorcampaign.com. You'll find lots of people writing about some of the movies that inspired and scared us and maybe you could sign their petition to bring the double bills back to the Beeb. I'd like to be sat in my own living room one day in the future, watching my kids get the same thrills and shivers as I did, all those years ago.
Right...now where is that issue of Fangoria that I was reading on the loo, yesterday? It's got a picture of a Zombie on the front eating someone's brain.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
TRUE BLOOD SERIES FOUR..
You may be wondering how am I talking about a TV show that's only just airing in the U.S,A. and the answer is Hooky Steve. Steve is a long time friend and is that rarest of things, a genuine market trader. His dad, Barry was a trader and Steve fell into the job by working on the stall at weekends when the rest of us were down the park or plonking our way through piano lessons. Markets are now not as common as they were back when I were a lad, so over the years, Steve and his Dad have had to diversify and adapt (in the words of management consultants) and now they buy and sell just about anything that's legal. Steve also sometimes has a few things that might best be described as "Grey". He does have some standards, though; he won't sell anything that he knows to be nicked. "I'm not a fence, Dave" he reminds me frequently. He also doesn't sell watches or gardening equipment.
As I'm a mate, and have got him into all kinds of places for free over the years, he frequently brings me stuff for nowt, mostly DVDs or clothing for the kids. Some of it is "totally right, Dave". Some of it is "little bit on the wobbly side, Dave." Most recently, he brought me a DVD of "Cars 2" which was so bad, that even my 5 year old son asked "Why is it so dirty, Daddy?". (He wasn't referring to some weird toon-porn version of the Pixar movie, more that it had been filmed on a mobile phone in an underwater cinema. Judging by the loud voices in the background, it was also somewhere in Korea.)
However, Steve's been coming up trumps with the latest episodes of True Blood, usually a couple of days after they've been broadcast in America. "Proper HD an all. Dave" said Steve and they are, too.
I am a HUGE fan of this series, right from the off. I've always had a tendency to gravitate towards the horrific and scary, as anyone who's met my ex-wife will tell you. Vampires have long been a particular favourite genre staple for me and the great thing about True Blood is it's more than just vampires. It's like a big lucky bag of creatures. Shapeshifters, werewolves, witches and a few things I don't know the name of, have all popped up in the wee town of Bon Temps. The first series was pretty much a metaphor for the civil rights/gay rights movement in the USA, with Vampires "coming out", looking for equality and acceptance )and in some cases assimilation), but with a whole other bunch of minorities/monsters also existing more underground. Over the next two series, no doubt due to the fact that it made a LOT of money, it stretched out and got quite deranged with storylines and characters. One of the things I like most about the show, is you genuinely never know what's going to happen next. It's so wilfully twisty, turny and confounding. Some of this is apparently in the books, which I haven't and won't read. I prefer to watch the show instead, and just let my gob drop as the story mutates and morphs as often as many of the characters do every week.
Series Four began with a cracker: After various run-ins with the King of the Vampires and a load of nasty biker werewolves, Sookie had been taken off by Faeries to some kind of soft-focus, Liberace-themed Garden of Eden at the end of Series Three and when she comes back to Bon Temps during Episode One, it transpires that although she thought she had been there for a matter of minutes, she's actually been away for eighteen months, and there have been a few changes whilst she's been away. In Walford, an 18 month absence would probably just mean that a few more old actors had joined the cast, or maybe Babs Windsor had come back to run the launderette with a new wig. Not so in True Blood. It's had more changes than the News International legal and finance team. I'm not about to spoil stuff for you here, as so much of the fun is in finding out, but if you love the series and know the characters, you will freak by the end of Episode Two.
As ever, all the men in the show are ridiculously buff and good looking, and there's a good helping of mucky, weird sex with a generous splatter of blood and gore. During the Eighteen months of Sookie's Faerie vacation, some of the characters you know best have undergone some major changes, some caused by the fact that many of them assumed Sookie to be dead.
Happily, the dark and sometimes daft humour is still present and correct, with Eric The Viking Vampire having an especially funny and twisted turn during episode 3 (though for me, Eric is a little less scary these days since I noticed a few weeks ago, whilst watching Zoolander again, that he was one of the hugely stupid male models who self-immolate themselves in the gas station sequence).
4 weeks in, the series shows no signs of obeying any of the usual TV show rules (this is NOT a show for hugging and growing), nor has it got lazy. The pace is as bone-rattling as ever, and some of the characters appear to be gearing up for a huge barney. At this point, there's no clear sign of any big villain, like Russell Edgington in Series Three, but as all True Blood fans know, it's very early days yet. There's an interesting flashback in Episode Four which indicates a re-incarnated witch may be playing a big part in the mayhem and veteran stage actress Fiona Shaw chews the scenery to fine effect.
God knows what else is going to come our way - maybe a massive, hairy, fanged cat-beast that speaks Romanian and eats children. It's possible.
I dare say that at some point later in the year it will air in the UK on FX or another station. By then, we'll have finished Series 4 and will laugh at you.
MRS D's Verdict: "Even better than the last series" (She's not a massive werewolf fan).
RATING
For twisting more than the Murdochs at a select committee hearing - 5 out of 5
For copious amount of gore and nookie - 5 out of 5
For making Eric funny - 4 out of 5
For making my gob drop at least once per episode - 5 out of 5
19 out of 20. And still a load of episodes to go.
As I'm a mate, and have got him into all kinds of places for free over the years, he frequently brings me stuff for nowt, mostly DVDs or clothing for the kids. Some of it is "totally right, Dave". Some of it is "little bit on the wobbly side, Dave." Most recently, he brought me a DVD of "Cars 2" which was so bad, that even my 5 year old son asked "Why is it so dirty, Daddy?". (He wasn't referring to some weird toon-porn version of the Pixar movie, more that it had been filmed on a mobile phone in an underwater cinema. Judging by the loud voices in the background, it was also somewhere in Korea.)
However, Steve's been coming up trumps with the latest episodes of True Blood, usually a couple of days after they've been broadcast in America. "Proper HD an all. Dave" said Steve and they are, too.
I am a HUGE fan of this series, right from the off. I've always had a tendency to gravitate towards the horrific and scary, as anyone who's met my ex-wife will tell you. Vampires have long been a particular favourite genre staple for me and the great thing about True Blood is it's more than just vampires. It's like a big lucky bag of creatures. Shapeshifters, werewolves, witches and a few things I don't know the name of, have all popped up in the wee town of Bon Temps. The first series was pretty much a metaphor for the civil rights/gay rights movement in the USA, with Vampires "coming out", looking for equality and acceptance )and in some cases assimilation), but with a whole other bunch of minorities/monsters also existing more underground. Over the next two series, no doubt due to the fact that it made a LOT of money, it stretched out and got quite deranged with storylines and characters. One of the things I like most about the show, is you genuinely never know what's going to happen next. It's so wilfully twisty, turny and confounding. Some of this is apparently in the books, which I haven't and won't read. I prefer to watch the show instead, and just let my gob drop as the story mutates and morphs as often as many of the characters do every week.
Series Four began with a cracker: After various run-ins with the King of the Vampires and a load of nasty biker werewolves, Sookie had been taken off by Faeries to some kind of soft-focus, Liberace-themed Garden of Eden at the end of Series Three and when she comes back to Bon Temps during Episode One, it transpires that although she thought she had been there for a matter of minutes, she's actually been away for eighteen months, and there have been a few changes whilst she's been away. In Walford, an 18 month absence would probably just mean that a few more old actors had joined the cast, or maybe Babs Windsor had come back to run the launderette with a new wig. Not so in True Blood. It's had more changes than the News International legal and finance team. I'm not about to spoil stuff for you here, as so much of the fun is in finding out, but if you love the series and know the characters, you will freak by the end of Episode Two.
As ever, all the men in the show are ridiculously buff and good looking, and there's a good helping of mucky, weird sex with a generous splatter of blood and gore. During the Eighteen months of Sookie's Faerie vacation, some of the characters you know best have undergone some major changes, some caused by the fact that many of them assumed Sookie to be dead.
Happily, the dark and sometimes daft humour is still present and correct, with Eric The Viking Vampire having an especially funny and twisted turn during episode 3 (though for me, Eric is a little less scary these days since I noticed a few weeks ago, whilst watching Zoolander again, that he was one of the hugely stupid male models who self-immolate themselves in the gas station sequence).
4 weeks in, the series shows no signs of obeying any of the usual TV show rules (this is NOT a show for hugging and growing), nor has it got lazy. The pace is as bone-rattling as ever, and some of the characters appear to be gearing up for a huge barney. At this point, there's no clear sign of any big villain, like Russell Edgington in Series Three, but as all True Blood fans know, it's very early days yet. There's an interesting flashback in Episode Four which indicates a re-incarnated witch may be playing a big part in the mayhem and veteran stage actress Fiona Shaw chews the scenery to fine effect.
God knows what else is going to come our way - maybe a massive, hairy, fanged cat-beast that speaks Romanian and eats children. It's possible.
I dare say that at some point later in the year it will air in the UK on FX or another station. By then, we'll have finished Series 4 and will laugh at you.
MRS D's Verdict: "Even better than the last series" (She's not a massive werewolf fan).
RATING
For twisting more than the Murdochs at a select committee hearing - 5 out of 5
For copious amount of gore and nookie - 5 out of 5
For making Eric funny - 4 out of 5
For making my gob drop at least once per episode - 5 out of 5
19 out of 20. And still a load of episodes to go.
Monday, 27 June 2011
DAYBREAK - ITV-WEEKDAY MORNINGS.
Breakfast TV is a tough nut to crack. You're on at a time when the potential viewers are barely awake, rarely functioning to the best of their abilities, and if it's a house with Kids in, everyone is frantically trying to eat Coco Pops, put their socks on and finish their homework in time for the School Run. Our house in the morning is chaotic, fractious and full of cats. I should imagine it's the same over at Ann Widdecombe's gaff.
In my house, Mrs D insists on having ITV on in the 25 minutes or so she has before leaving for work. Her reasoning for this is that The BBC offering is too dull and "newsy" and she cannot abide being subjected to Nickolodeon/ CBeebies or any of the kids' stuff that my children are attempting to sneak on to the telly. So she pursued a hardline on this for months with all of us. As arguing with Mrs D first thing in the morning is about as productive and healthy as sharpening knives with your tongue, the rest of us fell in line without complaint or backbone.
This meant that we were regularly made to suffer the stultifying blandness of GMTV for bloody months. Day after day after day of the same pastel nonsense slowly began to eat into my soul. And any time Dr. Hilary Jones came on, the whole house was enveloped in a choking cloud of smugness.
I was actually quite pleased when I found out that it was all being put in the dumper and a new show. Daybreak,was taking over, to be hosted by the admirably grumpy Adrian Chiles and his toothy sidekick, Christine Bleakley. My mild happiness was mainly down to the fact that I knew I'd never have to wake up to Andrew Castle ever again.
It's been well documented and commented upon over the last six months or so, that Daybreak has not lived up to the hopes and ambitions of all involved, especially the audience, After watching the first week or so, purely out of morbid curiosity, I myself, have avoided most of it, by doing Useful Things between 7.15 - and 8.15, then getting rid of it as soon as Mrs D has done one to work.
Today though, I woke stupidly early and having done all my Useful Things by 7.30, I ended up watching some of it. I know it was weak of me, I know it was hypocritical, I know I shouldn't have done it...but I did. What surprised me the most was the fact that even after having had so long to "bed in" (in other words, work out what works, and bin what doesn't), it's still bloody awful.
Christine is on her hols, so Adrian had Kate Garroway with him - quite why she avoided the Stalinesque purging of all things GMTV, is beyond me. Her insights are still as dull and opaque as they ever were. Adrian still looks like he wants to have a really nasty poo all the time, and seems quietly resigned to his fate of death by a thousand lost viewers every second.. There was a feature on Wills and Kate in Canada, which was so toadying and greasy, that it made James Whittaker seem positively Republican in comparison. Worst of all, it had Peter Andre not just being interviewed, but singing "live". In most cases, I would usually applaud any artist performing live, but not "our Pete". His constipated cod-Jacko warbling made my teeth itch, and two of our cats ran off in fear. Kate Garrulous actually introduced him by saying "We all love him!". Even my 11 year old daughter spat out her Coco Pops when she said that. "I don't love him." she muttered. "He's well rubbish". At that moment, I loved her even more than I did when she told me some years back that "Westlife sound like puke".
I vaguely saw a trail for Lorraine coming on later, but thankfully, three hours later, that memory has already faded. All I grasped was that she's still there doing the same as she always has (smiling a lot, interviewing people off the telly, smiling a lot, passing on information about how to dress your kids for a fiver and smiling a lot). I suspect she's the only part of the show that has retained any of the old GMTV viewers. The rest are in care homes, in comas or watching re-runs of Frazier under the misapprehension that it's a behind-the-scenes documentary series about a Radio DJ.
The only breakfast TV show that ever really got the format right, was The Big Breakfast on Channel Four. It understood that anyone who wanted news would be listening to the Radio or watching BBC One, so it didn't even try to do any serious analysis of current affairs issues beyond the headlines, which at that time of the morning, are all most people need. It knew that most viewers were around for maybe 20 to 30 minutes at best, and it absolutely pelted through items at speed, so you were only ever three minutes away from the next bit. And it also knew that the biggest favour you can do for anyone who's just woken up, is to make them laugh. That's a hard trick to pull off at that time of the morning, but if you do it, you're truly going to be loved. Which is why, first thing of a morning, I often stand at the end of the bed, dressed in clown shoes and a tutu.
Daybreak doesn't do any of those things (though Clown Shoes may be coming soon for Adrian). Stuff goes on too long, the topics are positively beige, and it's completely lacking in actual opinion or insight. I'd rather watch Dora The Explorer as I may actually learn something, even if it is only the Spanish word for "mountain".
I would give it a score, but I don't see any point as it would probably add up to less than 4. And that would only be down to the fact that it doesn't have Andrew Castle on it.
In my house, Mrs D insists on having ITV on in the 25 minutes or so she has before leaving for work. Her reasoning for this is that The BBC offering is too dull and "newsy" and she cannot abide being subjected to Nickolodeon/ CBeebies or any of the kids' stuff that my children are attempting to sneak on to the telly. So she pursued a hardline on this for months with all of us. As arguing with Mrs D first thing in the morning is about as productive and healthy as sharpening knives with your tongue, the rest of us fell in line without complaint or backbone.
This meant that we were regularly made to suffer the stultifying blandness of GMTV for bloody months. Day after day after day of the same pastel nonsense slowly began to eat into my soul. And any time Dr. Hilary Jones came on, the whole house was enveloped in a choking cloud of smugness.
I was actually quite pleased when I found out that it was all being put in the dumper and a new show. Daybreak,was taking over, to be hosted by the admirably grumpy Adrian Chiles and his toothy sidekick, Christine Bleakley. My mild happiness was mainly down to the fact that I knew I'd never have to wake up to Andrew Castle ever again.
It's been well documented and commented upon over the last six months or so, that Daybreak has not lived up to the hopes and ambitions of all involved, especially the audience, After watching the first week or so, purely out of morbid curiosity, I myself, have avoided most of it, by doing Useful Things between 7.15 - and 8.15, then getting rid of it as soon as Mrs D has done one to work.
Today though, I woke stupidly early and having done all my Useful Things by 7.30, I ended up watching some of it. I know it was weak of me, I know it was hypocritical, I know I shouldn't have done it...but I did. What surprised me the most was the fact that even after having had so long to "bed in" (in other words, work out what works, and bin what doesn't), it's still bloody awful.
Christine is on her hols, so Adrian had Kate Garroway with him - quite why she avoided the Stalinesque purging of all things GMTV, is beyond me. Her insights are still as dull and opaque as they ever were. Adrian still looks like he wants to have a really nasty poo all the time, and seems quietly resigned to his fate of death by a thousand lost viewers every second.. There was a feature on Wills and Kate in Canada, which was so toadying and greasy, that it made James Whittaker seem positively Republican in comparison. Worst of all, it had Peter Andre not just being interviewed, but singing "live". In most cases, I would usually applaud any artist performing live, but not "our Pete". His constipated cod-Jacko warbling made my teeth itch, and two of our cats ran off in fear. Kate Garrulous actually introduced him by saying "We all love him!". Even my 11 year old daughter spat out her Coco Pops when she said that. "I don't love him." she muttered. "He's well rubbish". At that moment, I loved her even more than I did when she told me some years back that "Westlife sound like puke".
I vaguely saw a trail for Lorraine coming on later, but thankfully, three hours later, that memory has already faded. All I grasped was that she's still there doing the same as she always has (smiling a lot, interviewing people off the telly, smiling a lot, passing on information about how to dress your kids for a fiver and smiling a lot). I suspect she's the only part of the show that has retained any of the old GMTV viewers. The rest are in care homes, in comas or watching re-runs of Frazier under the misapprehension that it's a behind-the-scenes documentary series about a Radio DJ.
The only breakfast TV show that ever really got the format right, was The Big Breakfast on Channel Four. It understood that anyone who wanted news would be listening to the Radio or watching BBC One, so it didn't even try to do any serious analysis of current affairs issues beyond the headlines, which at that time of the morning, are all most people need. It knew that most viewers were around for maybe 20 to 30 minutes at best, and it absolutely pelted through items at speed, so you were only ever three minutes away from the next bit. And it also knew that the biggest favour you can do for anyone who's just woken up, is to make them laugh. That's a hard trick to pull off at that time of the morning, but if you do it, you're truly going to be loved. Which is why, first thing of a morning, I often stand at the end of the bed, dressed in clown shoes and a tutu.
Daybreak doesn't do any of those things (though Clown Shoes may be coming soon for Adrian). Stuff goes on too long, the topics are positively beige, and it's completely lacking in actual opinion or insight. I'd rather watch Dora The Explorer as I may actually learn something, even if it is only the Spanish word for "mountain".
I would give it a score, but I don't see any point as it would probably add up to less than 4. And that would only be down to the fact that it doesn't have Andrew Castle on it.
GLASTONBURY - All Over the BBC Last Weekend.
I have a strict policy of never watching anything on TV that might involve Fearne Cotton or Chris Moyles in any way. As I knew The Cotton-Beast would be helming some of it, and that Moyles might pop up at any time, like an unwelcome fart in a confessional box, I didn't watch any of it. Whilst this is not necessarily good for a blog, it's excellent for my spiritual well-being.
I also usually find TV coverage of live music events strangely unpleasant. True, it's better than being in the throng, being crushed by thousands of sweaty, pissed-up punters, there's very little mud invoved and you get a great view of the band, but it rarely works for me. Much like porn, you get a close-up view of what's happening, but you don't get any of the experience. And much like porn, when it's finished, you usually feel a bit tired and cheated.
I'm told Pulp were ace, U2 were dull and Coldplay were quite good. If you want more detail, go and read Alexis Petridis' article in today's Guardian which is very informative and well put-together (the opposite of Fearne Cotton, in fact).
No Rating as I didn't watch it. But you already know that.
I also usually find TV coverage of live music events strangely unpleasant. True, it's better than being in the throng, being crushed by thousands of sweaty, pissed-up punters, there's very little mud invoved and you get a great view of the band, but it rarely works for me. Much like porn, you get a close-up view of what's happening, but you don't get any of the experience. And much like porn, when it's finished, you usually feel a bit tired and cheated.
I'm told Pulp were ace, U2 were dull and Coldplay were quite good. If you want more detail, go and read Alexis Petridis' article in today's Guardian which is very informative and well put-together (the opposite of Fearne Cotton, in fact).
No Rating as I didn't watch it. But you already know that.
Monday, 20 June 2011
APOCALYPSE NOW COLLECTOR'S EDITION - OPTIMUM/STUDIO CANAL BLU-RAY
I was 17 years old when this film came out originally and I trolled off to see it at the ABC Cinema on Deansgate in Manchester. It's not there now, of course. It's now a Wetherspoons, inhabited by lots of people eating defrosted fish and chips with a pint of watery lager for a Fiver. I'd have quite liked it back in 1979, if you could have got lager with Fish and Chips whilst you watched the film, but that's now only possible if you live near Portobello Road in London where there is a very posh cinema that does that kind of thing for those who don't mind paying £17 quid for Line-Caught Cod with Chunky Artisan Chips with a free-range Belgian aromatic lager.(Prices and menu description not necessarily accurate).
For lots of men my age, Apocalypse Now is a special film. Lots of us like to re-enact Robert Duvall's "Napalm in the morning" speech, whilst emptying litter trays or squeezing more paraffin onto the barbecue at a weekend. Some of us bought the soundtrack album many years back, which mixed music, dialogue and sound effects way before Quentin Tarantino did it on his Reservoir Dogs soundtrack. This album would then be played very loudly, very late at night in Halls of Residence across the land, often making hordes of students run out in panic when the helicopters could be heard.
I am not about to review the film itself here as you probably know what it's about anyway, and if not, other people have done that numerous times already, so go and read what they wrote. What you need to know is if it's worth shelling out for this blu-ray or not, seeing as you probably have it at least once on some format already. (I have two dvds and a VHS tape of it myself).
The answer's a big YES. It's been all smartened up and looks cleaner than Pippa Middleton's security check. It's got shed loads of extras, some of which you may have already on afore-mentioned formats, but there are lots more besides. There's a lovely chat between Coppola and Martin Sheen which is both honest and affectionate. There's also the even-bloody-longer "Redux" version of the film which lasts for about two days and should come with a big cushion to rest on (although it does have a very funny bit not in the theatrical version, just after they get away from Colonel Kilgore). And tons of technical stuff, commentaries, postcards, missing bits and general film-spod stuff which I loved. I hate having to buy the same thing repeatedly, but this is that rare occasion when it's worth buying it again.
Best of all, it's got the "Hearts of Darkness" documentary which hasn't been available ever on DVD, pieced together from footage taken during the making of the movie, by the ever-patient Mrs Eleanor Coppola, who comes across as being very nice even if she did secretly tape some of her husband's phone conversations secretly and then stick them in the film. Even Rooney's hookers or the various members of the Giggs Love Triangle didn't do that.
I thought it was well worth the £18 I paid for it at Asda and it's meant the other versions are now on EBay, which may mean it only ends up costing me about 6 quid. Bargain.
If you already love this film and only have a basic version on DVD or VHS, then it's a must buy. And even if you have the Redux version already, you still will want this. And if you've never seen it or owned it, then do what you have to do to get this version. Sell one of your smaller organs or an unloved pet, if you must.
MRS D'S VERDICT: She hadn't ever seen it before and wasn't especially looking forward to watching it as war films generally make her pull out her own fingernails. But she really liked it, stayed awake for all of it and also asked what else the big fat bloke at the end had been in. Good result.
SUMMARY:
For best mixture of war stuff and philosophy in a war film - 5 out of 5
For best ever real life breakdown on a camera by an actor (Martin Sheen) - 5 out of 5
For most genuinely whacked-out-of-his-gourd performance ever
by Dennis Hopper (and that's saying something) - 5 out of 5
For making a film that's still good over 32 years later - 5 out of 5.
TOTAL SOFA RATING: 20. (Top marks. Very rare.)
For lots of men my age, Apocalypse Now is a special film. Lots of us like to re-enact Robert Duvall's "Napalm in the morning" speech, whilst emptying litter trays or squeezing more paraffin onto the barbecue at a weekend. Some of us bought the soundtrack album many years back, which mixed music, dialogue and sound effects way before Quentin Tarantino did it on his Reservoir Dogs soundtrack. This album would then be played very loudly, very late at night in Halls of Residence across the land, often making hordes of students run out in panic when the helicopters could be heard.
I am not about to review the film itself here as you probably know what it's about anyway, and if not, other people have done that numerous times already, so go and read what they wrote. What you need to know is if it's worth shelling out for this blu-ray or not, seeing as you probably have it at least once on some format already. (I have two dvds and a VHS tape of it myself).
The answer's a big YES. It's been all smartened up and looks cleaner than Pippa Middleton's security check. It's got shed loads of extras, some of which you may have already on afore-mentioned formats, but there are lots more besides. There's a lovely chat between Coppola and Martin Sheen which is both honest and affectionate. There's also the even-bloody-longer "Redux" version of the film which lasts for about two days and should come with a big cushion to rest on (although it does have a very funny bit not in the theatrical version, just after they get away from Colonel Kilgore). And tons of technical stuff, commentaries, postcards, missing bits and general film-spod stuff which I loved. I hate having to buy the same thing repeatedly, but this is that rare occasion when it's worth buying it again.
Best of all, it's got the "Hearts of Darkness" documentary which hasn't been available ever on DVD, pieced together from footage taken during the making of the movie, by the ever-patient Mrs Eleanor Coppola, who comes across as being very nice even if she did secretly tape some of her husband's phone conversations secretly and then stick them in the film. Even Rooney's hookers or the various members of the Giggs Love Triangle didn't do that.
I thought it was well worth the £18 I paid for it at Asda and it's meant the other versions are now on EBay, which may mean it only ends up costing me about 6 quid. Bargain.
If you already love this film and only have a basic version on DVD or VHS, then it's a must buy. And even if you have the Redux version already, you still will want this. And if you've never seen it or owned it, then do what you have to do to get this version. Sell one of your smaller organs or an unloved pet, if you must.
MRS D'S VERDICT: She hadn't ever seen it before and wasn't especially looking forward to watching it as war films generally make her pull out her own fingernails. But she really liked it, stayed awake for all of it and also asked what else the big fat bloke at the end had been in. Good result.
SUMMARY:
For best mixture of war stuff and philosophy in a war film - 5 out of 5
For best ever real life breakdown on a camera by an actor (Martin Sheen) - 5 out of 5
For most genuinely whacked-out-of-his-gourd performance ever
by Dennis Hopper (and that's saying something) - 5 out of 5
For making a film that's still good over 32 years later - 5 out of 5.
TOTAL SOFA RATING: 20. (Top marks. Very rare.)
The Blurb.
I'm suppose to hook you in here with a snappy, cutting intro all about me and the blog and all that.
However, as I'm not a professional writer, I can't do that, nor can I afford to employ one of those spods who do that kind of thing whilst working from home in stained pyjamas.
All you really need to know is that I'm going to talk about things I watch on the telly. Might be a film, a reality show, some kids TV, maybe a blu-ray or one of Hooky Steve's "special" DVDs that he gets down the Crown and Cushion on a Friday night off a woman with a Somerfield carrier bag.
Occasionally, I will be accompanied by the lovely Mrs D., though she doesn't yet know that.
I'll do my best to be fair, honest and truthful about it all. This may make some people unhappy.
First review soon. It's going to be of the new Blu-Ray edition of Apocalypse Now, so if you know any aging men over 40, who don't like MP3s and who possibly have a Neil Young album or two, you may want to let them know.
However, as I'm not a professional writer, I can't do that, nor can I afford to employ one of those spods who do that kind of thing whilst working from home in stained pyjamas.
All you really need to know is that I'm going to talk about things I watch on the telly. Might be a film, a reality show, some kids TV, maybe a blu-ray or one of Hooky Steve's "special" DVDs that he gets down the Crown and Cushion on a Friday night off a woman with a Somerfield carrier bag.
Occasionally, I will be accompanied by the lovely Mrs D., though she doesn't yet know that.
I'll do my best to be fair, honest and truthful about it all. This may make some people unhappy.
First review soon. It's going to be of the new Blu-Ray edition of Apocalypse Now, so if you know any aging men over 40, who don't like MP3s and who possibly have a Neil Young album or two, you may want to let them know.
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